I bet they're not having this much fun in Mississippi

Disclaimer: I think the fact that a large snake on the loose is very serious, and I am concerned for those who have been harmed by it and have the possibility to be harmed by it. That is not what I am laughing about.

Only in Alabama do we have such intriguing news. Mom told me about seeing the news story of the snake on the loose in Sumiton (Walker County), Alabama. She told me to check it out, and y'all, this is my latest obsession. The first link is the story with the video in the upper right hand corner. The last two links are just stories, but the second link is much more elaborated than the other stories I have read.



Aggressive 'python-like' on the loose in Sumiton - ABC 33/40 - Birmingham News, Weather, Sports

http://www.mountaineagle.com/view/full_story/9402430/article-Aggressive-snake-missing-in-Sumiton?

http://www.wsfa.com/Global/story.asp?S=13115333

Now that y'all have had a chance to get caught up with the story, let's review the highlights. I love the plethora of cars in the background. The rusted broken down tractor (or as us Southerners like to say "broke down"). I love how the newscasters were SO SERIOUS while reporting the story. But, my favorite part has to be the part about how the woman had to literally bite the snake to get it to go away. I think she deserves a picture in the dictionary next to the word hardcore.

Also, what puzzles me is this is Walker County, y'all. Where are the guns? Or machetes? How can one have so many forms of vehicles laying around and no weapon? (And in Alabama, tractors count as vehicles.)

I didn't know I had it in me

I just found out the Auburn/Alabama game will be on the Friday after Thanksgiving, as opposed to the Saturday after Thanksgiving.

This throws a huge wrench in my holiday plans, as Thanksgiving officially kicks off the holiday season for me. (Well, that and the fact that my car is in the shop. Again. Second time in three weeks. Can the new year come soon enough so I can go ahead and get this?)

As I have already said, the Christmas shopping is done. I have made my housecleaning schedule. I have tentatively scheduled a party for Thanksgiving night, as I did last year.

Now, if the rumor proves to be true that my family will be celebrating Thanksgiving at my uncle's house, it would be convenient for me to leave from his house on Thanksgiving day to go to Auburn to get ready for THE game the next day.

But you know what would be more convenient? To move Thanksgiving to Wednesday.

To think I want to move a holiday to make it convenient for my football schedule. Apparently, I have more Southern in me than I was beginning to think.

From now on, if the Auburn/Alabama game MUST be played after Thanksgiving, I propose it be played in Tuscaloosera the Friday after Thanksgiving and in Auburn the Saturday after Thanksgiving. You know, since it works out better for me ;)

You know you're in Alabama when ...

You wear your HARVARD sweatshirt and people tell you, "Roll Tide!"

And, since I'm an Auburn girl, it took me a while to "get it."

The first time this happened, I was in Winn Dixie with my mother on a Sunday morning. We were getting our buggy (not a cart), and this woman comes up to me and says, "Roll Tide!"

"War Eagle!" I said. That's my standard response to the 'Bammers who like to tell me "Roll Tide."

"But your shirt ..."

"It's a Harvard shirt."

"Well, it's the right colors."

Another time, I was at a Phil Lesh/Allman Brothers Band concert and it was cold and rainy and I put on all I had to cover up with, my trusty Harvard sweatshirt. During intermission, it happened again, only I didn't get a chance to say, "War Eagle!" Plus, I figured any idiot who brings state politics to the hippie concert isn't worth my time.

Only in Alabama, y'all.

On a brighter note (for me), I did get a big, "War Eagle!" while getting onto an elevator on my cruise ship in 2004 (just before that beautiful season).

Confession (a.k.a. How's this for transparency?)

Way back when, when I started college, I remember going out with the girls one night and one girl was being relentlessly teased about going to college for her MRS degree. When I found out what that meant, I couldn't help but think to myself, "That doesn't sound so bad."

Fast-forward a few years and everybody and their mother is getting married and having babies, if they haven't already. I had also turned 21 and realized how much fun it is to party like a rock star six nights a week, resting on Sunday, oh who am I kidding, seven nights a week go out a couple of times a week and not have a boyfriend to tie me down. I had a job I loved for the first time in my life, I was making good grades, and I was on the path to a well-respected graduate degree.

Well, something happened at the end of my next to last semester of undergrad: I met this guy who thought he was my boyfriend. And he treated me like his girlfriend. I liked him. He was a good, strong, Auburn fan and he made me laugh. And I really liked being treated like a girlfriend. So, I decided I would start calling him my boyfriend.

Six months later, I graduated from college and I was attempting to become a bona-fide adult. And I was IN LOVE with this man. I wasn't the only one who thought they could see what was about to not happen. Surely, we would be announcing our engagement any second now. Wrong. Apparently, all the seriousness of this relationship was getting to him and he asked to cool it down, and eventually broke up with me just after the one year point.

I gave up the single life for this?

All of a sudden, the thought of marriage made me angry. I would watch "General Hospital" and think, "Why can't they leave poor Patrick alone? Isn't it enough that he and Robin are together? Why does he have to be forced into something more? Friends of Robin, SHUT YOUR MOUTHS! YOU'LL SCREW IT UP!"

PTSD? Maybe. Just a little. (No offense to those who actually suffer from PTSD.)

Not to worry, though, my boyfriend and I got back together soon after the grandest romantic gesture I have ever experienced (note to future husband: you must top this, and you have some big shoes to fill to do so): after a few hours of drinking beer together at our beloved TC's on a Friday night, my boyfriend professed his love for me, so that everyone within a 10 foot radius could hear.

For six months I had been waiting to hear those words, and it was better than I ever imagined.

Well, two years later, I finally decided it was over. Over. Over. Over. Unless, he had suddenly changed his mind about getting married and becoming a parent (again, for him). No, he hadn't, so we both knew that storm cloud that had been hovering over our near-perfect relationship all these years was exploding.

I decided to move to Auburn for reasons unrelated (although, it would be an added benefit to be 100 miles away from him in case of a moment of weakness).

But, y'all, I have a confession: As excited as I am about being single again, I really want a husband. I have visions of purple garden weddings, Pottery Barn linens, Lenox China, sweet little babies with good, strong, Southern names, and a membership with the Lee County Junior League dancing in my head.

I have the wedding fever, and the only prescription is a ring on my finger.

It's just the way I see it, y'all.

So, if any of you out there know a good, strong, Southern man who is also a good, strong, Auburn fan (or just plain doesn't care or who can be mature with me about it and not be a tacky un-Auburn fan), is into adopting kids, will appreciate a wife who cooks and manages the house, while volunteering for the Junior League, and selling the occasional property to supplement the household income and support her Pottery Barn habit, who doesn't drink too much, but isn't a teetotaler, who isn't so conservative his socially liberal wife needs to walk on eggshells when it comes to her socially liberal ways of thinking (bonus points if he's very socially liberal, as well), who just wants to have a good time and who lives in Auburn (or is willing to), send him my way.