Well, first, I was over it. O.V.E.R. Over. I majored in it. I planned my life to accomodate my political career. But when I started working with mo-rons, and I watched The Pentagon Papers, y'all, that's when I decided I would not be a politican.
Sorry, y'all.
There are just more important things in this world.
Like purple.
And kittens purring.
And reading Celia Rivenbark books. And Tori Spelling books. And, of course, Chelsea Handler books.
And what about watching those Kardashian girls?
And, well, I'm out of things that interest me more than politics these days.
Did I mention I majored in it, y'all?
You know things are bad when you major in it and a few years later, you decide it's bullshit.
Bless her heart, Brother's girlfriend is a Republican. And she says she wants to be President.
Been there, done that. (Except for the being a Republican part.) Go for it. You can have it.
And, y'all, if she becomes President, I'm outta here.
Of course, at the rate we're going, I'll already be outta here.
I'm going to buy my own island. Only people who are like minded are allowed. It's not to be mean or discrimatory, y'all. It's just because I'm so over the way things are. I just want to live. L.I.V.E. Live.
I know that I can't just buy my own island and that's it and I get to make up my own rules. But, y'all, if we're just a bunch of peaceful people on my island, who's gonna care what we do?
And if someone has a beef with it, y'all, they can kiss my grits! Mutiny is on.
Don't think I won't say the "S" word. You know, that thing the Southern states did that jump-started the Civil War. (For all you Yankees, or Southern kids reading text books written by Yankees, the word is secede.)
So, for those of you who think you may be interested, here's the law of the land for my island:
- There will not be no being mean.
- There will not be no insurance.
- There will not be no pushy sales people.
- There will not be no mo-ron drivers.
- There will not be no guns or violent weapons.
- There will not be no solely cash economy. Trading is encouraged.
- There will not be no banks.
- There will not be no reliance on the political system. "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman" will be deeply studied for inspiration for the political system, but in accordance with "Dr. Quinn", the political system will not be at the center of the way of life.
- Island time will be observed.
- Everything will shut down for Happy Hour, from noon until bedtime, Monday through Friday, and all day Saturday and Sunday. Drinks will be self-served and on the honor system.
- There will not be no meddling in other people's business.
I don't think there will be any tax paying, since we won't exactly have income.
And if you do not follow the rules, you have to go back to the main land.
All for island time, stand up and holler!
