I had a Carrie Bradshaw moment tonight.
The past few days, I've been wondering why I attract creeps and losers. I'm not that kind of person, so why is it they seem to want me?
I can't say much about what's going on, but suffice it to say a certain person from my past didn't handle being turned down very well and got a bit pushy about things over some text messages and I had to get mean and absolutely put on the brakes. Sad. I'm physically safe, and I do not feel physically threatened, so, I'm safe. No worries. Just going through some emotional stuff.
As a result, I have officially lost one of my most favorite friends. He is not the same person he was back in the day, and I had low expectations of that ever changing, but until the other night, there was always hope.
Not anymore. Because after what he sent me, I don't think my mother would ever allow us to be friends anymore. (This coming from a 29-year-old...)
This got me wondering about the creeps and losers.
Is it too hard to ask for a guy who has some class, treats women (and everything) with respect, and is intelligent? And NOT creepy? I'm not perfect, but I'm pretty freaking fabulous! I need someone who is as fabulous, or more, as a mate. And he needs to be a strong person, willing and able to stand for justice. (Even more awesome would be if he's down for some traveling and music festivals and other hippie-licious LEGAL activities.)
Of course, there's always the attraction factor. Honestly, though, if he's all of the above, I have confidence attraction will come.
While listening to Bowling for Soup tonight, the lyrics of "Girl All the Bad Guys Want" really hit home with me. The singer is talking about this girl all the bad guys want and he just thinks he's this loser who is so not at her level of cool and he wishes she would acknowledge him. I'm thinking, "but if you only knew me, I'd give you a shot."
I don't think I have ever really, directly bemoaned why the good guys don't notice me until now. I want a good guy. I pray for a good guy. I am ready for a good guy. Good guys with loser girlfriends, get rid of the losers and find me.
I started taking more pride in my appearance. I own very few pairs of sweatpants and pajama pants. I rarely wear them out of the house. I do my hair and makeup on a regular basis. I am an upstanding citizen with a college degree, hundreds of hours of volunteer work, who lives to have fun. I cook, I am nurturing, and I have other passions outside of pregnancy and childbirth and Widespread Panic concerts. (I just need to sit down and think and make a list. And get down to business about being involved with those passions, as well.)
And I will stand by my affirmation that I would rather be single than settle for less than I deserve.
I do not think I am the girl all the bad guys want, but apparently, they think otherwise.
