Thursday, December 31, 2015

Oh, what a year!

I think missing last year's year-in-review was a rather good indication of how the year went and where life was going at that time. I couldn't bring myself to process the year and I didn't have the time to do it.

Finally. Finally. I am getting to that point where I can see the light again. It's been a while.

I'm not going to sugarcoat it. The past several years have been like a wild ride that seemed to never end. Part of it is wisdom and maturity, part of it is determination and courage, and part of it is God, but I am in a totally different place in life than I have ever been. I don't really want to say that I've successfully taken my life back, because, really, I've just learned how to take what is given to me and embrace it, but I have taken control as far as not allowing others to have as much control. It's between me and God right now and I am so, so good with that.

So, let's begin.

January - Went to first college bowl game, the Birmingham Bowl, to see Florida beat East Carolina University. Go Gators! Chomp, chomp! Gamma died. Tedeschi Trucks concert. Saw TUB for the first time. Started staying out past my bedtime.

February - Met a fine specimen of a good, strong, tall, Southern, Auburn fan man. Best friend's four year old son died. Work got moody.

March - Work still moody. Man ends our little fling. Got pink hair. Raging flare up - what else is new? Oh, this one came with lactose intolerance.

April - Happy birthday to me! Really sad about the man fling. Auburn. Decided to change my life as I knew it.

May - That was a blur. Sold my first AU condo. Met another guy. Nothing materialized. Was on Talk of Alabama, promoting Dirty Hippie.

June - Also, a partial blur. Closed on a new AU condo, went to ATL to see the Rolling Stones. Saw DMB at Tuscaloosa Ampitheatre (it was there I realized I could eat dairy again. yay!). Closed on a new condo in BHM. Def Leppard and Styx concerts.

July - Moving. Started allergy shots again. Really getting into this floating in the pool and working on my tan thing. Iris Dement show at WorkPlay.

August - Continued to work on tan. TUB played at Dirty Hippie. Got a new car, Foxy II. Dinner at Ruth's Chris. Things finally started turning around with the state of friendship between that man and I. Hard Working Americans.

September - Lady Antebellum. AU with the man. Van Halen. AU with the man. Realized my autoimmune symptoms were beginning to disappear.

October - Started moving the store. Alabama concert. Started falling hard. Rusted Root, man! Lost my first friend to death. As in, the first person relatively close to my age, who I was currently friends with.

November - Finished moving store. Work began to suck again. .

December - Work still sucked (honestly, I really do love my job. It just takes up so much time I'm not used to spending up and it frustrates me). Got Christmas early and it was the best gift ever, so far :) Christmas, cousin time, Birmingham Bowl to cheer on my AUBURN TIGERS! (War Eagle!), couch toured Widespread's NYE run, decided to name those new year's wishes to candles and blow them out on a cake.

Happy New Year, Y'all.

Love. Success. Health.

On Facebook the other day, I saw a crossword puzzle with the caption "the first three words you see will come to you in 2016," or something to that effect.

First thing I saw was love. Boom! It immediately popped out.

I had to look a little harder, but success came next, and immediately after, health.

I will take it. I know a little crossword puzzle activity on Facebook isn't going to bring anything to my life, except maybe some encouragement for positive thinking, but it did make me think about my wishes for this upcoming year.

Love. Of course. I have grown so much this past year, and it's mostly due to love. It's been difficult these past several years. I've got so much love to give, and I'm not afraid of it, but what I've learned this year is God is still making me into the person that will be the best wife for my best match. It's tough sometimes when the yearning takes over and I can't get it out of my head. The past two days, my talks with God have consisted of so many thank you-s. Just "thank you," repeated over and over. I'm thankful for my life. I'm thankful for the future, where promises will be fulfilled. I'm thankful for my health. I'm thankful for the present. I'm thankful for how it's all come together. So, yes, I hope that this will be the year I, at least, get my husband. But more than that, I hope this is the year that love will continue to grow.

Peace. I've been filled with peace lately. Just an absolute, worry free, content, confident peace. I like it. And I hope that peace will also continue to grow.

Growth. I've grown a lot this year. I met a man, I hit a rock bottom I never imagined feeling. I drew myself closer to God. I got rid of a lot of stuff. I simplified (and continue to do so). And I have that man back in my life. I didn't do it to get him back, but I did it because I knew if it wasn't him, there would be someone better, and if I wanted him that badly and wanted to just be able to soak up all the love with him, I had to get my life in order so that I could have all that free time for all the love. I want that connection with God to grow. He really showed me His faithfulness this year, and I am ready to see what He has in store, as well as grow that relationship. Good things really do come out of challenging yourself.

Organization. I really want my organized life back. The more organized I am, the more time I have to follow my heart.

Create. I want to create things all. the. time. I want to cook, craft, make a home, make babies (when the time is right), grow Dirty Hippie in the direction of my vision for it, curate my life in the way it's supposed to be. I want to be a part of something. Do for others.

Time. I want time on my side. This past year flew by. Eleven months ago today, the weekend that changed my world happened. It's been an absolute whirlwind. So whirl-y that I got overwhelmed often and just had to cry and hope time would slow down, just so I could catch up and put stuff to bed.

Ink. I haven't gotten a tattoo in two years. I've got some catching up to do. I have four in mind right now, three of which should be able to be done in one sitting.

Live. Because I've spent the past nearly nine years fighting with my body, and now I am feeling so good. The other day, I did a lot of heavy lifting. I did things I never thought I'd be able to do again. Ever. I mean, I thought it was a distant memory of being able to do that kind of work. And I was so, so, so sore, but it wasn't a bad sore. It wasn't a kind of sore that was holding me back. It was a kind of sore that felt good. Because it felt so good, I'm going to start kicking my own ass as often as I can just so I can soak up that great feeling.

Experience. Feel, Soak up every moment. Savor it. Don't just go through the motions of doing.

And I think love, success, and health will all come to me, given that list of words to focus on this year.

That being said, as for the silly little things that just make life sweeter, I wish for ...

A Tom Petty concert
Lots of road trips
A beach vacation
An amazing camping experience
Epic Widespread Panic tour dates all around (and all the means to make some shows every tour)






Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Torn?

I mostly completed my year-in-review earlier today. And then I went to happy hour (because that is rare these days). I had every intention of couch touring Widespread Panic from home, but I stayed and did it from Oasis, until I decided to be an adult and go home to sleep because I'm going to see my Auburn Tigers play in the Birmingham Bowl tomorrow. At 11:00 AM. It was tough. To "couch tour" at the bar, to go to Dave's and see Elijah Butler Band, or to go home and go to bed to wake up early and do the football thang. Decisions, decisions ... And I chose home.

It's been a year, y'all, and it's looking insanely up right now.

You know the superstitions about leaving your tree up past the New Year? About bringing the luck of the last year into the new?

Well, I've seen a lot of bad this past year. A terrible amount of bad. But, I've also seen so much good. And I wouldn't have seen any of that good if it hadn't been for all the bad.

My last grandparent died. A four and a half year old boy died. I felt heartache like I have never felt before. Work stress. A friend died. I felt the fear of the heartache repeating itself.

But, I actually colored my hair pink. I felt the energy of love surge through so many people. I know a different kind of true love. I am living the dream, in terms of a job, I met a great person full of love and life. I know contentment. I am so insanely in love, in a kind of love that just is. A kind of love that is simple and will be what it is meant to be when it is meant to be, yet has such strong feelings and emotions associated with it. I know what the oxytocin high feels like, and it is a better feeling than anything. So good, so amazing, that words do not exist to describe it.

WP just covered "I Can See Clearly Now," followed by "Sitting in Limbo." I feel that 2016 is going to be a good year. It's not simply hoping it will be a good year, but knowing it will be. It's gonna be a bright sunshine-y year. And sitting in limbo is not a bad thing anymore. It's presence. It's contentment.

So, do I take the trees down or keep them up?

Honestly, it doesn't matter. God has a plan. And He has a great one. One better than my dreams. And I am so ready to experience it. And the trees are some of the things that set the mood for all the love this season.