Why I won't date someone who can't spell

The other day, one of my friends and I were talking about how maybe I'm too picky about the spelling and grammar on my online dating websites. While I agree maybe I am being too picky, especially when I am anxious to start dating again, I still feel justified in this criteria. And I want to share with y'all why I think this is okay.

First, I get rather annoyed having to read what he has said out loud. I think, "If I'm having this much trouble now, how am I going to feel when we text, email and Facebook each other?" Yes, this might be a bit silly, and I know I let my friends get away with it, but I believe a person should have the right to minimize that behavior in his or her life and I don't want to be irritated with my mate, get a horribly misspelled text, and then be really pissed because I don't understand what he's trying to say.

Second, it shows ignorance. Maybe people aren't the best spellers and maybe grammar and punctuation just makes their head spin. That's fair. Numbers do the same thing to me, and I will be the first to admit I suck when it comes to finances (although, I am getting better). But, when I have to do something out of my comfort zone, I check my work and I ask for help. These people who misspell every other word, use semi-colons for no reason, can't use an apostrophe to save their lives, and basically spell like they talk, and don't think to use a spell check? Ignorance. They think they are fine the way they are, and their spelling and grammar is far from it.

Third, it shows laziness. Have you noticed people using "an" for "and"? These words are two different parts of speech. An is an article, and a conjunction. Do people not want to take the time to put the last letter on the word? I just don't understand it. What I call "text language" is also annoying to me. It's one (rather annoying, but more acceptable) thing to use it in text messages. Emails, instant messaging, and profiles are not places it belongs, among many others. How many times can I say I don't want to say my messages out loud to be able to understand the meaning? With the abundance of spelling and grammar check options available, why can't they be used? I feel like if someone is so lazy they can't make the effort to spell out entire words, or have their work checked, in what other areas will they be lazy?

Fourth, what does this mean for the future of our language? I learned it. I don't know every single rule, but I know the difference between to, too, and two and there, their, and they're. I spell out my entire word, unless I choose to use a contraction (and I use an apostrophe). I feel like if you have nothing else in this world, but you can speak and write clearly and properly, you at least have something. This is one of the best ways to fake being "smart." You may not be well read or you may not have much education, but at least you can appear to have had those experiences.

Fifth, and final, it shows hubris. I see all these profiles of guys who talk themselves up, trying to make themselves sound like the perfect balance between manly and sensitive. They might even have pictures showing how good looking they think they are. What I see, though, is a guy who is ignorant, lazy, and thinks he's hot shit. Hubris is bad enough, but in combination with ignorance and laziness, it's the worst.

Just so we're clear, a typo is a mistake I let go. If there are more than three or four per paragraph, I take a closer look at the person's profile. People aren't perfect, so we are bound to make mistakes. I just feel like if someone makes more than a few mistakes in a small space or amount of time, that person isn't just making mistakes and they clearly fall into at least one of the above categories.

Still raining

It seems with me, the story of my life is if it's not one thing, it's another.

So, while I was starting to find my blogging groove, another little rainstorm happened.

I thought, "Wow, maybe I'll have some joy to share on my blog when this is all over," and so I delayed posting. And delayed. And delayed.

And y'all, it's still raining.

What started as a "Go see this doctor and she'll give you some medicine and you'll be feeling great again," phone call from my OBGYN's nurse, has turned into three additional medical tests and almost two doctor appointments. Apparently, hyperthyroidism is not as simple to treat as my OBGYN's nurse thought.

I also hurt my finger while moving my stuff back to Auburn. This may or may not be related to the hyperthyroidism. It also may or may not be related to another autoimmune disease. Oh. Me.

Now, I know how doctors' appointments and medical tests go. One doctor says things aren't normal, they refer me to a specialist who says they are. But, I still feel like crap, so obviously, something isn't right. So, I was totally expecting to go to the endocrinologist and have her tell me I'm fine. Which, apparently, I'm not. To be honest, I was a bit surprised that my thyroid levels were high in the first place. I mean, it makes complete sense, but just knowing my history with bloodwork and diagnostic tests, I was really surprised something was actually wrong. And when the endocrinologist confirmed it, even though I was a bit anxious about getting my treatment going, I was relieved.

For once, the doctors have something that is diagnosable. And better yet, treatable.

Now, what all this means to me now is:

• I will not be going to school this semester, as advised by the orthopedic doctor
• I might actually be getting some answers in regards to my health (or lack thereof)
• I will continue to live in Auburn
• I will move on to Plan B

And, yes, I am very frustrated that I told every doctor and medical person I have been to see this summer, "I start massage school in Auburn August 16. Will this interfere with that? Should I put it off?" Everyone said it seemed like a reasonable time frame and they didn't see why I couldn't start school. Except for the orthopedic doctor, who suggested I delay school a semester. This was last Wednesday, five days before class was supposed to start. At that point, I had to agree with him.

Not Nice

I've been dealing with really rude people all my life, and as I get older, it has only gotten worse. And, y'all, the number one reason for me deciding to move to Auburn was the people are nice. Seriously.

Lately though, I don't know if it's my hormones (not pregnant, just got some wacky hormone levels going on) or if it really is worse, but I have NOT been faring well when I've had to be in Birmingham (which could also factor in).

Let's start with AT&T. A couple of months ago some AT&T guy came to my door with a survey of sorts to try to figure out why more people in my Birmingham neighborhood have Bright House as opposed to AT&T. I told him, very nicely, that I choose not to support AT&T because I do not like their business practices. First, they outsource. Second, back before AT&T took over BellSouth, I had DSL and a land line in Auburn. When I moved back to Birmingham, I transferred my DSL to my mother's house. I didn't have any problems until I started receiving mail at my mother's house about my service at my old Auburn apartment (at least once a week, by the way). I tried to get off that mailing list and explain the situation, but I was told that was impossible. The last person I left a message with never returned my calls. Third, back in the '80's, AT&T promoted a bunch of men, then promoted women to fill the men's previous jobs, then cut out the position the women had gotten promoted to. I also hear that even though AT&T supposedly has a commitment to diversity, their business practices (and past) say otherwise. The guy at my doorstep vouched for AT&T saying that he did know African Americans who work with him. I told him diversity was about more than African Americans. He said he would get me off the mailing list. He didn't.

So, fastforward a little, and I realized I was going to have to either suffer without internet or cave in and get AT&T in Auburn ('cause I fired Charter down there for, you guessed it, poor customer service). I tried twice, with my girl, Girl Tuesday, as a witness, and all I got was more ammunition against AT&T. They were going to charge me way more than the advertised price for DSL.

I'm not even going to go there why I fired Charter. If you live in Auburn, Charter internet is pretty hit and miss. And the customer service is TERRIBLE.

Around the same time of the AT&T disaster, I realized my Macy's credit card bill had not been properly credited. If you have a Macy's credit card, you might know what I'm talking about here, so just go on to the next paragraph if you do. (If you don't, read this paragraph so you're aware of what happens.) Okay. So, when you get a Macy's credit card, you get a Macy's Visa, but it's actually a store account and a Visa. Same account number, two separate accounts. Tricky, huh? Well, when I paid my store account, it credited to my Visa, which I have never used (to this day). I tried calling customer service and I couldn't get through to the (outsourced) "customer service" person. I hung up. I went to the store to try to get it straightened out, and I was told to call customer service, but the NICE store clerk did call for me to try to straighten it out. She was told that I DO use my Macy's Visa. I called bullshit, thanked her for her assistance, and left. I called customer service again, had the same issues with communication, and finally got to someone who understood and somewhat spoke English. She just didn't enunciate very clearly. Girl Tuesday put that notion in my head, about how the woman should enunicate. So, when all was said and done, and she asked if there was anything else, I told her I did not like their outsourcing, their separate accounts for one account number, and how horrible the customer service was. She said I needed to tell that to someone else. So, I did something I really don't do very often, contrary to what my family thinks (they really have very little faith in me), and I yelled at her, "There is this thing called enunciation, and YOU need to learn how to do it!" and I hung up the phone and promptly left for Happy Hour.

That should have been strikes one, two, and three for Macy's, but I love that store, y'all. (Except for some of the hideous plus size clothes and the ever-shrinking women's department.) I love the home store. And the jewelry. Oh. My. Soul. Love it!

Two weeks ago, Girl Tuesday and I were in there, patiently waiting in line to ask for help since no one else was around to help us. You know what happened? The clerk took the woman who popped up "in line" after me. So, I just walked out of the store talking loudly about how upset I was.

Today, y'all, same thing happened, only at the purse counter.

Strike three.

The card is getting cancelled tomorrow.

To make things worse, my grandmother is in the hospital this week, and she has not had a pleasant hospital experience. The aides and nurses have been slow, short, and unprofessional with her.

So, consider yourselves warned, I'm disregarding Emily Post until this rude mess blows over, and I will not hesitate to call you out if you're being mean.

Better yet, I enourage y'all to be nice. My friend Melissa always says, "you never know what kind of day someone is having." She says this as her reason for being nice to others. So, be nice. You never know what kind of day someone is having.