My story, it kind of sucks, but it will be okay

Last week, I sent a rather hastily written email to a blogger I have been following for a few years. And she wrote back to me this week. And she asked me to tell her about me.

I started with the usual history ... born and raised, went to college, moved back home, moved back to college town kind of. And then, I thought it might be helpful to explain a little about why I made the choices I did, and how I ended up doing freelance work. So, out comes the sick story.

It sucks that I pretty much lost a few years of my life to being sick. Not deathly sick, just too sick feeling to do anything. The kind of sick that makes you a total homebody and makes all your friends think you just want to stay at home with the boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, I loved the Space-man, but I didn't spend all THAT much time with him when we lived together. He went out to his friend's bachelor pad nearly every night to watch some sporting event.

I went through the pity party. I went through the "why can't I just catch a break?" And now, I am at the "this is why I am the way I am."

I have some limitations. I can't party all night like I used to. (Not that I really want to, because I love my sleep and I love my mornings.) I can't clean an entire house, or tiny apartment, in one day. Some days, I just can't do much of anything.

But, those days are getting further and further apart.

I recently saw something or read something where someone said something (yes, all the "some"s are getting to me) to the effect of when you're down, you know God is working on something big for you. And He is. I just never felt Him stir my soul, guiding me on a certain path. I don't know how far I veered off from His plan for me, but I do know all that I have been through has led me to a place where I am closer, and more at peace (most of the time) with what He has in store.

For example, I lived with my ex boyfriend. Not my proudest moment, and I would be lying if I said I regretted it and I didn't enjoy it. We spent nearly all of our time together anyway, and we were both going through some things where it just made sense for us to take that step. But that step is what confirmed I really did want to be married. And that is why we finally broke up.

I finally, finally, finally, finally, broke up with Space, and a few days later, meet a guy (who ended up being a loser), and then a few weeks later, meet another guy, who turned out to be quite awesome. A long time later, I still don't have even a boyfriend, but I feel like one is coming. I hope. Sooner than later.

I have no father figures left in my life, but that's okay. It means I can have a glass of champagne at my wedding and not worry someone is going to fall off the wagon. It also means gift giving has gotten a lot easier. And it means while others are off celebrating Father's Day, I can have my pick of massage appointments.

I felt like crap for years, but once I began to mend, I started making up for lost time. I learned to make time for myself and be a little selfish. If no one else is going to spoil me the way I want to be spoiled, I will. It encouraged me to give myself permission to actually live the hippie lifestyle I always wanted.

Yes, I am quite embarrassed at how flaky I appear to be, but honestly, I am having a good time doing it.

Everything is going to be just the way it is meant to be, and it will be fine, because that is what it is meant to be.

30x30

For the past couple of years, I have noticed a trend of people doing 30x30 bucket lists. I thought and thought about what to put on mine, and finally decided since life is so unpredictable and I don't always get to do what I hope to do, I am going to mostly make the list up as I go. There will be some long term goals and hopes and dreams on there, but it will be mostly "list as I go" and things I have done that I am so thankful I did. Without further adieu, let the list commence.

1. Cook in a professional kitchen - April 2011, Guest chef at Rags'
2. Join Junior League - August 2010, Junior League of Lee County
3. Travel to see Widespread Panic - September 2011, Knoxville
4. Become a doula - Spring 2010
5. Become a childbirth educator
6.
7. Make a list of places I would like to live and vacations to take
8. Create business plans for future business ventures, and map out a career plan
9. Have awesome concert tickets - done!
10. See Mickey Hart Band - April 2012
11. Go to a music festival outside of Birmingham - October 2012, Harvest Moon Festival, Callaway Gardens
12. Go on a vacation to Callaway Gardens
13. Put more effort into my appearance
14. Adopt a healthier lifestyle
15. See as many concerts as possible
16. See Jimmy Buffett and do the tailgate
17. Honor my body (regular mani/pedis, massages, adjustments, etc.)
18.
19. Get a dog - March 2012
20. Be assertive, not bitch-y
21. Do a total spa day (massage, hair, nails, makeup)
22. Celebrate the 30th at the beach with an Arabian Nights themed party (alternative plan: private)
23.
24. Establish and follow a wonderful organizational/filing system, a financial plan, start retirement fund, sort out wardrobe
25. Commit to a city
26.
27. Start the Porsche fund
28.
29.
30. Get out of the townhome. Let that baby go! (Unless Highland Park gets rid of the riff raff.)

Happy birthday to me

Today marks the start of the big 29. I've had an absolute blast in my 20's and will be sad to see them go, but I am also looking forward to my 30's. Wow.

Anyway, I don't really do new year's resolutions and I think 365 projects sound rather overwhelming, but I did ask for a camera and I have been thinking a lot about how to better myself. So, for this new year, I am going to begin a healthy me to start the next decade with. I am going to start by only eating potatoes and red meat 3 times per week. Potatoes I should be able to do fairly easily, but red meat will be difficult. No more massive pots of spaghetti to eat on for days at a time. As for the 365, we shall see. I think it will be a fun way to get me blogging again.

6th time's the almost so-far charm

Guess what, y'all?

After some encouragement from a dear friend, I tried another dating website for the second time. Last year, there weren't that many people on it that weren't already on the one I started with. (I'm sorry if this makes no sense.)

Within 24 hours, I had been emailed by a not-so-bad, and definitely not creepy guy. Within 48-72 hours, I had been rated a 4 out of 5 by another guy. And I have been emailed by at least three other guys in the past few days. All this within one week. I actually feel like the hot stuff I am. LOL.

Now, if I could only snag a date within the next couple of weeks, that would be awesome!

Harvest Moon Festival

Back in October, I failed to tell about my first "real" music festival. I say "real" because I really don't count City Stages and the Crawfish Boil as music festivals. I suppose they are, but when I think of music festival, I think "get the hell out of town and get your hippie on."

Harvest Moon Fest was at Callaway Gardens, a favorite local weekend getaway for me.

Thursday night, Andy came down to Auburn. We ate at Hamilton's (nommmmmmmm!) and chilled at the apartment. Friday morning, we ran some errands and loaded the car. The plan was to bring our own groceries and eat that as much as possible, since the food at Callaway is so expensive.

We checked into our cabin, unpacked, and I did some cooking. And we did some drinking. And, FINALLY, we headed out to the festival. It was super chill and I had a blast at the festival. My favorite part? Dancing, barefoot, in the sand by the lake, to the B-52s, in October, on my half birthday. It was amazing!

Saturday, we got up and cleaned the cabin a bit, ventured out to do some shopping, ate lunch at some restaurant (yeah, I know that totally defeats the purpose of bringing groceries), and my other friends arrived. Andy did his own thing and me and the girls and kids went to the festival, where we got some hair feathers. Andy met back up with us that evening and we had a wonderful night hanging out in the sand by the lake listening to live music. Everyone else was ready to go back before the Gin Blossoms, so I went back, too.

Sunday morning, we got up. I made breakfast. We packed and loaded the cars, and went back to Auburn. Andy and I lunched at Irish Bred Pub in Opelika (I highly recommend the Blue Chips!) before he went back home. 

I'm guessing this was a small scale music festival, and it was just right for me. I was totally in my element, chilling out and enjoying the environment. The weather was perfect! I wore jeans and a shirt during the day and pulled on my fleece at night, but it was still warm enough to get barefoot. I definitely want to go back next year.

Some things I would have done differently: gotten my traveling companions together more ahead of time (and make them pay in advance), only brought snack-y things to eat, brought a swimsuit, and stuck to a schedule. I missed a lot of bands because we were distracted with other things. While I don't regret it, I would like to see the music, since it was what attracted me to the event. I also would have gotten some cash before leaving town.

Why I won't date someone who can't spell

The other day, one of my friends and I were talking about how maybe I'm too picky about the spelling and grammar on my online dating websites. While I agree maybe I am being too picky, especially when I am anxious to start dating again, I still feel justified in this criteria. And I want to share with y'all why I think this is okay.

First, I get rather annoyed having to read what he has said out loud. I think, "If I'm having this much trouble now, how am I going to feel when we text, email and Facebook each other?" Yes, this might be a bit silly, and I know I let my friends get away with it, but I believe a person should have the right to minimize that behavior in his or her life and I don't want to be irritated with my mate, get a horribly misspelled text, and then be really pissed because I don't understand what he's trying to say.

Second, it shows ignorance. Maybe people aren't the best spellers and maybe grammar and punctuation just makes their head spin. That's fair. Numbers do the same thing to me, and I will be the first to admit I suck when it comes to finances (although, I am getting better). But, when I have to do something out of my comfort zone, I check my work and I ask for help. These people who misspell every other word, use semi-colons for no reason, can't use an apostrophe to save their lives, and basically spell like they talk, and don't think to use a spell check? Ignorance. They think they are fine the way they are, and their spelling and grammar is far from it.

Third, it shows laziness. Have you noticed people using "an" for "and"? These words are two different parts of speech. An is an article, and a conjunction. Do people not want to take the time to put the last letter on the word? I just don't understand it. What I call "text language" is also annoying to me. It's one (rather annoying, but more acceptable) thing to use it in text messages. Emails, instant messaging, and profiles are not places it belongs, among many others. How many times can I say I don't want to say my messages out loud to be able to understand the meaning? With the abundance of spelling and grammar check options available, why can't they be used? I feel like if someone is so lazy they can't make the effort to spell out entire words, or have their work checked, in what other areas will they be lazy?

Fourth, what does this mean for the future of our language? I learned it. I don't know every single rule, but I know the difference between to, too, and two and there, their, and they're. I spell out my entire word, unless I choose to use a contraction (and I use an apostrophe). I feel like if you have nothing else in this world, but you can speak and write clearly and properly, you at least have something. This is one of the best ways to fake being "smart." You may not be well read or you may not have much education, but at least you can appear to have had those experiences.

Fifth, and final, it shows hubris. I see all these profiles of guys who talk themselves up, trying to make themselves sound like the perfect balance between manly and sensitive. They might even have pictures showing how good looking they think they are. What I see, though, is a guy who is ignorant, lazy, and thinks he's hot shit. Hubris is bad enough, but in combination with ignorance and laziness, it's the worst.

Just so we're clear, a typo is a mistake I let go. If there are more than three or four per paragraph, I take a closer look at the person's profile. People aren't perfect, so we are bound to make mistakes. I just feel like if someone makes more than a few mistakes in a small space or amount of time, that person isn't just making mistakes and they clearly fall into at least one of the above categories.

At least I'm consistent

Blog a bit, drop off the face of the earth, repeat. That's how I roll.

So, I got caught up in football season. I definitely had an exciting weekend. All was well until I had a little scare that Saturday night. Everything turned out well. But I was absolutely terrified for a few hours.

EG was dedicated the next weekend. What a sweet baby girl. More on her later. :)

Then there was more football.

Then there was a death in the family. I've tried writing about it, but it's kind of painful, still. I always envisioned celebrating my wedding with my family, and now that everyone is dying ... Yeah, so I'm losing my family, we're not getting to do much celebrating, and it's just really sad. And I am worried for my future kids. What if I start pursuing the adoption thing? It's just really hard to go there, but I kind of have to.

The holidays were celebrated.

Football season finally ended.

And here I am. Happy new year, y'all. As my mass text said, "May your 2012 be merry and bright!"

Let's have a happy year, okay?