Towards the end of my blog hiatus, I began posting a series about my personal health care journey. I did it partly for me, to put all the pieces together, but I also did it because I've been nauseated for over four years and my doctors have no idea why. I'm not the only one this has ever happened to ... I googled it one night and found a discussion board about all these people who have been/are going through it too. I was doing it as a way to reach out to those who might have the same problem, and also as a hopeful thing, hoping someone had been through it too and got an answer that may be the answer for me.
Two years ago, I had surgery. My symptoms to that point were fatigue, nausea, malaise, and tenderness in random places all over my trunk. It affected my work so much I ended up quitting my jobs. I just couldn't fight it any more. I had also developed a rather distended upper abdomen. I couldn't wear a bra, I occasionally had difficulty breathing (due to the pressure), and I looked pregnant. I figured surgery couldn't hurt anything. I was so wrong.
Actually telling about my whole recovery is painful. Within the first two weeks, I had changed to a stronger pain medicine, gotten into a huge fight with my boyfriend (at the time), cried a ga-zillion times, been to the emergency room, had DISSOLVABLE stitches RIPPED from my body, found out my after care instructions were complete bullshit, got passed off between doctors, discovered I had a hole. In. My. Abdomen. Went for an emergency therapy appointment. Got the white gunk dug out of aforementioned hole, and was on my way to recovery.
Or so I thought. Within a couple of weeks, I started waking up between four and six in the morning about once a week with excruciating back pain. It feels like my muscles are contracting, they pull tighter and tighter inwards until after they can't get any tighter and they finally begin to release. There is tons of pressure with this, too. (Just out of curiosity, I timed it one time and it took 20 minutes.) This still happens from time to time. Now, when I wake up with the pressure, kind of uncomfortable feeling, I take a deep breath and brace myself mentally. Usually by relaxing the best I can when it starts, I can keep the pain from getting as bad as it can.
I also just haven't been "the same" since my surgery. I am even more fatigued, more tender, and now I have muscle and joint (and tendon) issues. I've noticed lately I've been a little better, but my stamina is nothing! Once the weather cools down, I'll know a lot more.
And, of course, I'm still nauseous. But, I can breathe. And wear a bra. The breathing part is wonderful, the bra part ... I was getting used to shelf bra camis and they were oh so comfy.
So, what does this have to do with becoming a doula? Giving birth has such a wonderful outcome (assuming everything goes well), why should a woman have to just go with whatever the doctors and nurses say and hope she doesn't have a bad experience? I'm not saying this happens in every case without a doula, and I'm not saying every case with a doula is all roses. I just think having an advocate and support person to help you during this journey can help the outcome be as best as possible. Like I said in doula training, I think everyone should have a "doula" for every medical experience.
