Why do I doula?

Towards the end of my blog hiatus, I began posting a series about my personal health care journey. I did it partly for me, to put all the pieces together, but I also did it because I've been nauseated for over four years and my doctors have no idea why. I'm not the only one this has ever happened to ... I googled it one night and found a discussion board about all these people who have been/are going through it too. I was doing it as a way to reach out to those who might have the same problem, and also as a hopeful thing, hoping someone had been through it too and got an answer that may be the answer for me.

Two years ago, I had surgery. My symptoms to that point were fatigue, nausea, malaise, and tenderness in random places all over my trunk. It affected my work so much I ended up quitting my jobs. I just couldn't fight it any more. I had also developed a rather distended upper abdomen. I couldn't wear a bra, I occasionally had difficulty breathing (due to the pressure), and I looked pregnant. I figured surgery couldn't hurt anything. I was so wrong.

Actually telling about my whole recovery is painful. Within the first two weeks, I had changed to a stronger pain medicine, gotten into a huge fight with my boyfriend (at the time), cried a ga-zillion times, been to the emergency room, had DISSOLVABLE stitches RIPPED from my body, found out my after care instructions were complete bullshit, got passed off between doctors, discovered I had a hole. In. My. Abdomen. Went for an emergency therapy appointment. Got the white gunk dug out of aforementioned hole, and was on my way to recovery.

Or so I thought. Within a couple of weeks, I started waking up between four and six in the morning about once a week with excruciating back pain. It feels like my muscles are contracting, they pull tighter and tighter inwards until after they can't get any tighter and they finally begin to release. There is tons of pressure with this, too. (Just out of curiosity, I timed it one time and it took 20 minutes.) This still happens from time to time. Now, when I wake up with the pressure, kind of uncomfortable feeling, I take a deep breath and brace myself mentally. Usually by relaxing the best I can when it starts, I can keep the pain from getting as bad as it can.

I also just haven't been "the same" since my surgery. I am even more fatigued, more tender, and now I have muscle and joint (and tendon) issues. I've noticed lately I've been a little better, but my stamina is nothing! Once the weather cools down, I'll know a lot more.

And, of course, I'm still nauseous. But, I can breathe. And wear a bra. The breathing part is wonderful, the bra part ... I was getting used to shelf bra camis and they were oh so comfy.

So, what does this have to do with becoming a doula? Giving birth has such a wonderful outcome (assuming everything goes well), why should a woman have to just go with whatever the doctors and nurses say and hope she doesn't have a bad experience? I'm not saying this happens in every case without a doula, and I'm not saying every case with a doula is all roses. I just think having an advocate and support person to help you during this journey can help the outcome be as best as possible. Like I said in doula training, I think everyone should have a "doula" for every medical experience.

What can I say?

It's been a while, y'all. Lots of changes are taking place :)

I guess I should start off with some 'splainin' as to why I took down all my old posts ... see, what had happened was I thought I was going to start a "lifestyle consulting" business, where I teach etiquette and advise on wardrobe, homemaking, and other lifestyle kinds of things. I'll admit I'm not the best at any of that, but I know what is appropriate and I'm a fountain of advice. What better name that Southern Like That for the business? So, I figured I would take down all my posts and start the lifestyle blog. That didn't happen. Not that it ever won't happen, it's just, well, kind of overwhelming. And I have had this other little project going on.

Last year, I spent the summer suffering from hyperthyroidism and tendinitis. My plan was to go to massage school, get my license, and start my massage therapy practice in Auburn. Well, my tendinitis didn't heal in time to start school and I desperately needed something to do. I considered going to cosmetology school because I love doing makeup, but that's a lot of money to spend to just do makeup. Don't get me wrong, I will cut and color your hair for you if you are a very dear friend, but I don't love doing it. What else do I love, know, and can feasibly do for work? Become an artist. I'm no fine artist by any means, but I'm rather crafty.

It got put on the back burner as life got complicated the past year, but, fortunately, I did do enough work on it here and there to have a (hopefully) fairly good plan in place. As of last week, I am the proud owner of my very own business, Queen B, named for my beloved cat, Boston GoGo. I plan on launching in the next few weeks, so stay tuned.

With the business, I began exploring what social networking sites I wanted to utilize to help me promote Queen B. I've been hearing a lot about Pinterest, and really wanted an account, but it didn't seem like the right thing to do with Queen B. It is a great way to promote my other favorite hobby, lifestyle. So, you can now follow me on Pinterest, SoLikeThat. (Southern Like That was too long. Boo!)

Another little thing that happened this summer was I finally began my doula certification. Why would a woman who has no desire to put her own self through pregnancy and who desperately wants to be a mother become a doula? That's a long story you can read on my doula blog (when I get it up and running). I'll probably do a post on it here, just because I also have a passion for health care advocacy.

So, y'all, that's what I have to say. It's been a long, hot summer, and I am ready for the greatest Southern pastime - FOOTBALL. War Eagle, y'all.

P.S. Maybe I'll get around to putting the old posts back up :)

Pirates, parrots, and a bar baby shower, oh my!

One of my favorite bartenders is having his first son and I was appointed to plan his baby shower. Scott is so excited about becoming a father and his new family that we thought he deserved a shower. Also, none of his co-workers were able to attend a traditionally-timed shower (weekend afternoon) because they work like crazy all weekend.

With about one week to plan, I had to work fast! Step 1: pick a theme. I chose pirate. It's cool. It's Jimmy Buffett-ish. It's good for a boy. We had a good time!

Since the Nana's crew is a fun-loving bunch of people, I went all out! We had pirate hats, crowns, inflatable swords, and a treasure chest, just to name a few things.

We had the shower on a Monday night while Scott was working so we could help him earn some extra tip money! (It was also the best night to get everyone to come.)

Shannon and I went to set up way before Scott got there so he would be surprised with the decorations and so we wouldn't have to work around customers later on.

I'm so embarrassed to admit this, but I must give credit where it is due: I let Scott's mother to do the food. I got the cake, but she offered to cook for the shindig, and I let her. Emily Post might be rolling over in her grave for that one, but I am eternally grateful! The spread was awesome and it allowed me and Shannon to pay closer attention to the other details.

Booty (gifts, for you non-pirate speakers)

Shannon and I left a note for Scott and stuck it to the bar mat with a knife.

Clearly, we were really into the pirate theme :)

Invitation

Instead of a guest book, I had treasure maps for everyone to write a message to the new family

Directions for "guest book"

Guest Chef at Rags'

Unlike so many people my age, I am skipping the 30x30. Instead, I am jumping on opportunities to do things I've always wanted to or just sound really cool.

Last fall, I was introduced to this little restaurant and bar in Lakeview (Birmingham). They do guest chef night from time to time and I finally got around to signing up in April.

Back in high school, I used to want to be a chef. Then I spent an entire day cooking for my friends and changed my mind. (LOL!) This was all about getting in an industrial kitchen and cooking for more people than I am comfortable with. I also got to do a little fundraiser for my favorite local charity, the 1917 Clinic.

I chose to make my go-to recipe of apple roasted pork tenderloin. Rags' donates a portion of the profits to a charity of the chef's choice, and I decided to donate $5 per plate served to the 1917 Clinic, as well.

Here, I have to thank everyone who supported me and the 1917 Clinic that night. Alan, who donated his own $5 because he wouldn't be able to attend, my mother, Gamma, Mrs. Graham, James, Michael,Debbie, William, Margaret, Meredith, Shannon, Dana, Melissa (who is a vegetarian and just skipped the pork), Laura, Ryke, Space, John Paul, Jordan (my brother, who came all the way from Montevallo), and everyone else I don't know who ordered the plate.

I'm really glad I decided not to pursue that career path, but I think a couple of times a year doing guest chef will satisfy me just fine!

28th Birthday Party!



On April 7, I turned 22 for the second time. (I actually turned 28 ... heehee). I celebrated with my friends on April 8, at Nana Funks, of course. I racked up on the wine (thank you, everyone!). It was such a special night and I am so thankful I got to visit with friends from many seasons of my life. Shannon did such a great job decorating. That part was so unexpected, and she went above and beyond!

I'm one of those people who likes to eat around 7 or 8, but Happy Hour (specifically, Friday Happy Hour) tends to get in the way of that. We have this group we call the "Friday Friends," so Fridays are THE social event of the week. All I wanted was to be able to eat dinner at Happy Hour, so I got a small catering order and a cake and we partied!

Before I go any further, I want to thank the Nana Funks staff! I hopped in real quick on my actual birthday and Ryke had bought me a glass of wine, and Ricky wished me a happy birthday as he was leaving and I was coming in. Like I said, Shannon did a great job of decorating. (She even got me a special balloon with a sweet dog on it because I have been wanting a dog.) Melissa and Stephanie actually took time away from their evening (when I assume they are getting in a good nap before they have to be at work later on to work all night) to make appearances. And Troy and Dustin also made a point to wish me a happy birthday. It was very special that everyone acknowledged my special day and I hope to never forget it! After all, how many times does a girl turn 22? We'll find out ... (LOL). Also, Scott gave me some glasses of wine the next Monday when I saw him. If you're looking for a bar in Birmingham, make friends with Nana Funks! They are a great group of people!

One more highlight I don't want to forget is dancing with the Space-man to "No Sugar Tonight." Time of my life!

Now, on to the pictures. Please excuse my purple lips (and probably teeth!). I was having too much fun to bother with keeping that under control :)

Shannon wrote this sweet sign for me

Me and Brother (Jordan)

Me and Melissa - best girlfriend from high school! We have very few pictures together and rarely get to hang out.

The Cake - I decided to turn 22 again!

Full view of The Cake - from Savage's, of course!

Me, Laura, and Melissa

Me and someone who probably wishes to remain anonymous

Me and The Debbie - my best bar friend!

Jessica, Me, Keri D., and Sara

Me and Space - my favorite ex-boyfriend

Meredith, Me, and Margaret - my favorite Auburn fans!

Me and Stephanie

Food!

Decorations - Shannon did such a great job :)

A wonderful bottle of wine from my anonymous (Alabama fan) friend. I love how he wraps a present!

Widespread Panic

These are my pictures from the Widespread Panic concert in Birmingham. I didn't take any pictures Friday night because, to put it nicely, people were not very nice that night. I missed most of Charlie Daniels, cried most of the first set (the stress got the better of me :/), and finally was able to enjoy the second set (for the most part). You wouldn't have wanted to see those pictures, anyway.

On a happier note about Friday, the energy from the band was AWESOME!!! They covered "Riders on the Storm," which was pretty cool and very fitting for a stormy day, and later they covered "Feelin' Alright," and I was in LOVE. I freakin' love Joe Cocker! They also played "Bust it Big," and "Porch Song." It's kind of foggy on the rest of the set list, due to my little meltdown (note sarcasm).

The pictures here are from the second night. I chilled out at home in Birmingham on Saturday, locked myself in my bedroom, blasted some Panic CDs, took a hot shower, and just centered myself in a much better mood. And it worked! Ain't life grand, y'all!

Saturday night was much more laid back, and we all had fun, especially Space, as you will see.

Go order the DVD of the shows! It's the best $30 I've ever spent. While you're at it, go download them, too. Loves it!

 

Space-man was SPACED! He definitely had a good time. Don't judge - he's been pretty responsible lately.

Me and Shannon. So freakin' excited for a good night!

Me and Space. He was all over me all night. I gave up on dancing when I found myself with a Space backpack :/

Pet Peeves: Pregnacy and Parenting edition

This is something I've thought about posting before I even had a blog. I even thought about starting a blog all about pet peeves. But that's negative. I guess doing a post about pet peeves is pretty negative, too. That's why I've never done it before. However, sometimes a girl's gotta vent. And my friends have heard plenty of venting over the years.

1. Women who complain about pregnancy related nausea. This one should be fairly obvious if you know me or have been reading my blog enough. When the nausea persists beyond pregnancy, I will totally sympathize with you as you vent on Facebook. Until then, though, be thankful you have a reason why you feel that way.

2. People who find themselves facing an unplanned pregnancy, choose to keep the child(ren), and basically treat the kids as accessories or entertainment. Parenthood is somehow a privilege thought of as a right. Just because you can make a baby doesn't mean you should be a parent. Instead of neglecting your child or not meeting it's needs (and yours, since your well-being is vital to the child's proper care), do everyone a favor and give the child(ren) to someone who can adequately provide for him/her/them.

3. People who vent about their kids on Facebook. Part of being a parent is teaching a child how to act properly in various situations. You chose to be a parent, so quit complaining. Furthermore, words can not describe what an injustice you're doing to your children. Seriously, I am considering reporting excessive complaints to DHR. You're on notice.

4. Misspelling words and neglecting to use punctuation. Especially when you are on a rant about why you choose to homeschool. Work on spelling properly and using proper grammar and punctuation so you can help your kids grow up into, at the minimum, intelligent sounding adults. If my kids misspell on Facebook, you better believe I will correct them. On Facebook.

5. People who feel they are doing a good thing by giving indigent people baby showers. Yes, I know this is highly controversial. It goes back to #4. They probably didn't choose abortion because they couldn't afford it and they think their only option is keeping the baby because they don't know much (if anything) about adoption. There's also this thing called foster care that you put your children into until you get yourself together for them. If you can't take care of yourself, you have no business raising a child.

6. People who already have a few kids, choose to adopt a child, and then ask for people to help them adopt said child by hosting fundraisers, or just asking for donations. See #5. You already have plenty of kids. Take some time to save up some money on your own and then adopt a child.

7.