After last week's purge regarding my thoughts on sex and relationships, I feel like I have to follow it up with something. After all, something started happening, and then it didn't. (Sorry for the spoiler.)
So, I started messaging with a guy. We exchanged numbers. We talked. We texted. We made plans to meet. I freaked the fudge out! I'm talking about-to-get-on-an-airplane or about-to-have-surgery tears and shaking. My good friend talked me down and I pulled myself together and got all dolled up (well, as dolled up as appropriate for a mid-range chain restaurant), and went to my bass lesson. And that's when I got the text that he had to cancel on me. Honestly, I was relieved, but I was so angry, too. I mean, I put an effort into what I would wear so I looked nice, but not too nice for the restaurant. I put an effort into my makeup. And I dressed up quit a bit more than I would prefer to go to bass class (there's always a bunch of guys hanging out there, but I'm going for the bass lesson, not the dating). While it was some notice, it was pretty much last minute notice since I had to get ready before bass class.
Looking all classy and cool like I did, I had to go out, and so I did. I hit up Kelley's, then went to Courtyard. I got popcorn, salsa, the best wings EVER, and a couple of Andygators (my new obsession).
This brought on some flashbacks to about twelve years ago, when I had been chatting with this guy on AOL for a few months. It turned out he worked with one of my classmates on a fundraiser, so it wasn't SO intimidating, meeting someone online and all. We chatted, we emailed, we talked, we made plans. And the day of the date, he cancelled on me. While I think it was for the best since I was so young back then, nd he was a few years older, the event still haunts me.
See, I've never really dated anyone.
Everyone I recount this to says it counts as a date, but I didn't quite get it, and it was so last minute, I don't really count it, but I guess, technically, my first real date (non-formal, regular kind of evening date) was the summer before my senior year of high school. We went to a Mitch Hedburg show. How's that for an awesome first-date-ever story? :)
Then there was that AOL guy.
And then there was college. I always called them best friends dates because we were best friends, and one time I had to borrow my old neighbor from his girlfriend, and this one time another old neighbor and I hung out all day and made dinner plans and he kept trying to pay for everything, and I didn't know what to think of it all, so I out drank him until he passed out. I used to be good at that.
And there was the time I met up with this guy I was talking to every night to "hang out."
Looking back, maybe "hang out" was code word for a date?
But the first date that I really count was with one of my old bartenders. It all just kind of happened, and it's kind of a crazy story, but we went to Surin West for dinner on my birthday. And then he went crazy. After I was letting my guard down with him and all ...
And then there was Space. Our first official date (we just kind of happened, and I guess we fell instantly in like and got to know each other for an entire weekend before he realized the error of his ways and took me on a real date) was to Surin West, of course. And that relationship stuck because he didn't like cocaine more than he liked me.
And I haven't dated anyone since Space. And it's time. It's been two, almost two and a half, years. We were together for five. It. Is. So. Time.
And I think I have decided to going back to dating the old fashioned way, even though it wasn't working out. Meeting someone in person is so much better because you can instantly gauge chemistry, and when you know the chemistry is there, and you've already faced this person in real life, things aren't so scary as when you're about to go on that date with the person you've never met.
While I can do without the butterflies, it's nice to know they are there because you know the person is special. Maybe they won't end up being special enough, but it means there's something worth checking out.
