Y'all, I really tried to love UAB. I mean, I remember all too well being late to take my former Resident Manager to lunch my last day in Auburn because I was sitting in my apartment with my mother bawling my eyes out, screaming I really did want to stay in Auburn. (Oh, the days, when that was considered major drama.)
I should have taken that as a sign that I shouldn't move, but I didn't. I just picked myself up, washed off my face, and had a good lunch, then I stayed one more night and had a couple of bottles of Boone's Farm and I moved. I made my bed, and slept in it well enough. (No double entendres intended.)
There would be other Margarita Parties. (No there wouldn't.) There would be other football games. (Yes.) I could always move back some day. (Yes, but it isn't the same.) I just wouldn't have the Auburn degree. (But I would have a degree.)
So, I was sad, but optimistic. College is fun, y'all. Right? As long as you're in Auburn, it's fun.
I almost immediately began a list of things noting the differences between Auburn and UAB.
At UAB, all pedestrian crosswalks I have come across have signals. And even then, it's walk at your own risk. Whereas, at Auburn, there are quite a few pedestrian crosswalks where pedestrians have the right of way at all times. Students would politely wait their turn at crosswalks that had signals. (Of course, now, in both places, the students have taken to illegally crossing and it makes driving rather difficult.)
At UAB you can take classes with your bartender(s). That's a major plus, right?
At UAB, if you assume someone will be polite enough to hold the door open for you, when you are just a foot or so behind that person, you will likely end up with, at minimum, a broken nose. Whereas, at Auburn, and this is still true (some things never change), if you are a good, strong, Southern man, you will risk a broken leg and neck injury when you realize that a girl is walking 100 feet behind you and you forgot to wait on her and hold the door open, even if you miss your coveted appointment with your advisor, waiting on her to take her sweet time getting to the door, since Southern ladies avoid breaking a "glisten" at all times whenever possible. (Yes, a slight exaggeration, but only slight. Trust me if you've never witnessed this.)
At UAB, there is a Chick-fil-A on campus, and nearby students hang out at Al's, The Purple Onion, and Fat Sam's. At Auburn, Chick-fil-A is on campus, as well as a few other, diverse, options, and nearby, well, let's not go there, since it would take me 10 years to write it all out. (You wouldn't think that since Birmingham is SO big, but it's true. There is never a boring time to be had in Auburn.)
What else is there? At UAB, it is not okay to wear an Auburn or Alabama shirt, when Memphis is really the big rival. At Auburn, you occasionally see other team shirts, but if someone is wearing an Alabama shirt, you just look at them funny and whisper behind their back. (Not to be mean, just to express confusion. And compliment someone's cajones for doing so, even if you don't agree with them.)
At UAB, you basically have to plan the event yourself to know what's going on around campus, whereas at Auburn, you can't go to or leave class without a fistfull of flyers being stuffed into your hands as you navigate the concourse.
At UAB, "sororities are SO not Auburn or Alabama, so it's okay to rush when you're a senior, since they are trying to expand their Greek community anyway," (no, they really just want your money and they'll be a bitch to you during their "parties") and you actually go for it because you are desperate to love your college . Whereas at Auburn, you just don't feel the need to go out for Rush once your not a freshman, maybe a sophomore, because people at Auburn are nice and welcoming and you know too much that is going on, so you have plenty of options to help you find your "place" at your college.
